i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
