Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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