I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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