omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
