at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
either way he was missing a nipple.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
