she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
bring money and cleavage
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
