I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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