I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
