I can text with my tongue
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
