It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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