no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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