omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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