on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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