he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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