sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
