k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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