i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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