that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
