What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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