I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
