In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dear god my vagina.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
