just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
