Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
