I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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