Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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