You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
