lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
