Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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