You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
