Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
