My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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