There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
