You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i will never coherently bang her
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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