fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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