He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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