obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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