come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
