Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
