I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
