great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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