Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
