If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
