I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
