I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
