I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
