I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
