Will you blow on my dice?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
