you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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