I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
