..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
