you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you had me at cake vodka
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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